Another of my Vague Opinions....

A Person's Worth?

Well,  in  my opinion about in a relationship, it's not just okay to revel in the fact that the other person loves you and you just enjoy its benefits or fruits and seem at ease. Sometimes you love the other person because he/she loves you or you just love and don't know why or you don't wanna know for even that curiosity seem to scare you. Although the answers to this questions don't prove useful in the beginning but they can hold life or death policies at difficult times.

However this attitude seems is sheer shallowness, for you to sit on a belief that's on shifting sand or rather more on a selfish grounds- Businesslike.Either both benefit from the relationship or at the least you benefit and therefore you just sit back at ease and fantasize that the other person likes you. It's pure innocence or you being being numbed by a feeling that's so good.

If you ask me, I would say in relationships, you just don't sit back and enjoy but divulge deep in to the other person’s heart cautiously, to know what's inside even when it hurts you in the process for it is an investment in the long run rather than to run and sit back is sheer shallowness!One of the noblest attire that you can give to a relationship is to have an non-meddlesome interest on what the other person thinks about him/herself, for that self relation directly affects the relationship with you.

       

In the beginning, a relationship always is a bliss; thinking about the other,blushing when you receive a text/call, wait for him to come online so you could chat, the joy when you get to sit next to her, hit a like for everything she updates on facebook. ( Blah..blah... u know it.) Nevertheless, adding a sense of destiny to the fact that you both met or trying to add a tinge of non-coincidence to the way you both met like asking rhetorical questions like " How did we end up meeting each other?" ........ But as we live down the lane, we begin to realize that it really doesn't  matter at the instant how you met or how you ended up together (if it works out); some may even call it fate. But it's how much you invested sublimely in the other person's soul, for everyone ends up in that hard moments of nonchalance. Physical bareness is not the only sign of the closeness of the relationship but stripping of the soul. To bare oneself to the soul is to strip but not tease each other’s' fears, weakness, insecurity and stress but nod with acceptance in the heart for everyone come with a set of stupidity. Therefore if you hadn't placed priority on a person's worth, then the hard times could be a drudgery for the relationship itself seem to breed the dirge along with the person. A person i guess has more value discreetly than what you place on her/him in the realms of the relationship.A person's worth goes beyond the relationship!

Well it's one of the other vague thinking i decided to write and got myself a person to edit it; she really found it hard to understand whatever i was trying to say with my writing that looks so incoherent and thank heavens she didn't bail out :)....Well!time to go pen down another article!

Stop! It's a Red!

The Red and Green Interactions!


   One of the places where the feeling of humanhood (This word doesn't exist?) or the desire to fight for human rights with actual deeds is right at a traffic signal. The traffic signal is one cursed place for it swallows time like a black hole but it is also a place of complex human interactions like at a battle front level and brings people  together without a discipline - the lane discipline.

    Whenever i stop at a traffic signal with my motor bike, i feel like a patient soldier or like a knight mentioned in those old poetry and everyone who stands by me in my lane (My? your grandfather didn't make it, did he?... An Indian saying?) on their whatever wheeler look like my comrades irrespective of their gender, race, creed and blah except when they honk right behind me. As we wait,  we cast momentary glances at the LED powered signals and jealousy filled looks at the lane, whose motorists are cruising fast with looks like in a fashion show where speed is the criteria and not leanness. Besides these glances across, looks are cast within the lane at the other bikes or how well bikes can fill gaps between cars or just a smile at a cute child whose hugging her dad from behind, as if the hug separated life from death. (Even i was cute when i was small :P) Then as if we are connected in a network of telepathy, we slowly start giving some translatory motion (I majored in Physics :P) to the chugging engine in unison and if some guy manages to trespass the junction in to the promised land even before the green, we either laud him secretly for his bravery and presence of mind or impatiently wait for the green photons so we can adamantly overtake him with a scoff. (We do that, don't we? :P)

   The green light as it reaches the eye, ( The human eye is most sensitive to the green-yellow) the two wheeler folks charge like a cavalry cutting and stranding any guy who tries to pass before we can from another lane and hope he/she feels that everything is fair in love,war and at a traffic light. As this happens a feeling surges; a feeling that occurs at self-righteousness, for you have helped capture the junction for ya lane and so the slow, weak and the heavy trucks and buses (MTC buses) can pass victoriously like the Israelis crossed the Red Sea. As we cross the junction, the Brotherhood/Sisterhood feeling slowly diminishes as the distance form the junction increases and it lies dormant until at the next traffic light.

    I've tried to capture a vivid imagery of what goes on at a traffic light and i sometimes think that a person is known by how he/she behaves at a traffic light.......           
  

The Rain Trilogy.....

Part One: Before it Rains!

The Rain has captivated us all! (Yeah right! a friend and i tried a song inspired by rain but never worked) In science we learn that it's a part of the Water Cycle, a cycle where water is stolen with a sense of justice but in the stealth mode by heat (Usually our enemy except while cooking ;) ) and then returned in a rather romantic   state of affairs, where heat's chief advocate - the sun, is imprisoned behind thick fluffy carriers of that stolen water in its spirit form. (gaseous form)

  The moments before a rain are, i guess, one of the most non-colourfully beautiful nostalgic moments, for everything looks 'grayish'.....  Besides the grayish spectrum shown to the eyes, these moments do bring an ecstasy to the other senses as well. (except the sense of 'taste' i guess) The sudden drop in temperature shows itself through the cool breeze that caresses your skin, sometimes causing goosebumps and the smell of the soil, (this for the folks who know what soil is :P) which sometimes makes us wonder where this aroma is hidden all this time, as if the rain enlightens us to a higher level of olfactory process. The army of fluffy warriors marching, (actually floating but i need a certain picture.. so) as they take Sun a prisoner along with the lights and the sound effects, with inbuilt delay, they tarry across from the horizon. As they race to capture the skies with their rather dull colour, they wait for the signal, which sometimes i think is just that one naughty drop who falls first and then the stampede begins and this is called "RAIN"...

The time before a rain, seem powerfully beautiful and these moments also kick in an extra adrenaline to go play the best football, which usually happens when girls are pretending to watch us play football... Fine! now that i said that i am nostalgic of something from the past... So Adieu! ;)     

An Ugly But a Wise, wacky Truth!

She holds your hand; she drops her head on ya shoulder when you sit by her. She even holds ya arm when she walks beside you, talking about how happy she is... When she is, it sends your heart reeling with pleasure- a bliss tinged with calmness. You see her playing away, and you just gaze at her with a stillness that's stirs your heart. While you travel alone, you suddenly see her walking with a different set of folks around, but as your curiosity slowly turns into an apprehension, you acknowledge with an embarrassment, that it is not her but someone else with a grace that very much belongs to her. 

        As i draw out the feelings i feel (felt) in symbols, that i try to convey the meaning intended i stop short. A realization that crawls out in an ugly form - from within, though ugly it makes me wise. It hits hard, enough for me to convict myself on the notion that am selfish. A selfish mind ( i should say heart) that surrenders only when u think deep and maintain an open mind - unbiased. On the surface, for me to think about my feelings, vent it out or confess it or repress it can be seem consciously right but on the contrary i don't seem to give a damn, though innocently about what she thinks or feels. Though in many instances, her physical dandles can be conscious intentions to leave a trail of emotional ecstasy in my heart but what if it wasn't intended. "Not Intended?"... What does that suppose to mean? Well this is the question that hit me right in the nerve. Yeah it's possible to be "not-intended", specially if she has been brought up in a different culture or environment or grew up with a different perspective. (Opposite sexes always complain about the difference in perspective)

         All this time i have been selfish, thinkin' about what she makes me feel, all the while i did forget what it means to her. Besides if she feels the same, then to express yours can always be justified, for it might not cause any friction in the short run but you need to be sure; assumptions don't always sync.( Though physical laws are always based on assumptions) Every human has a free will, which i guess shouldn't violate even if i feel so good without a scheme in mind. So i try to step back, feel what i feel but before i draw the conclusions, i try to find the whats about her and the way she feels then with respect to her space, i express mine. This tends to give more meaning, i guess in the long run. I know and believe that this life is not just about me ( when it comes to a relationship; otherwise too!) and therefore am content, without much of vulnerability i accept people even when they don't feel the same way i do about them.

         I sit down with ease for it's not about the validation of my feelings, that brings to meaning and satisfaction to my poor soul but looking to see the bigger picture; God sees the ultimate picture for he is outside space-time! ( I assumed that God exists when i wrote this :P)  Now with a greater hope, i tread on to listen more than to speak!!! :)

A Free Verse- Poemish!

                     City Lights!

You! who come out in the night!

Stars! we no longer seem to want you,

we don't care if you exist

except the crazy ones who study you.

we no longer need you for our inspirations

for we have our own stars,

literal stars of red, yellow and white. 

Are you guys fiery and scary?

And so big, that a million earths could fit in?

Well! We don't wanna find if that's true,

for you're too far away - small and insignificant!

Who has time for you anyway?

If you have, look down on us as we become Gods,

Gods with our own stars,

literal stars of red, yellow and white.

Are you so many in numbers?

that you out number the grains of sand here?

But we don't think it matters anywhere!

Behold! We have crowded you out

with stars we built on our own,

literal stars of red, yellow and white.

They say you twinkle, while you shine,

that sounds mysterious and pulls in awe,

But we are far too distracted to look up,

too busy to stop with our heads up,

for we have created our own stars,

literal stars of red, yellow and white.

Come let's party on our concrete heights

and watch the stars we created,

lights that flicker as they reach our weary eye;

flickering due to the smog we put up in the sky,

photons that shine and are intense enough

to lure us to the stars we created,

literal stars of red, yellow and white.

Why the Trouble?

I sometimes joke confidently to myself, that i haven't grown fat as i use up a lot of energy just by thinkin' - thinking heavy (The human brain does use a thick chunk of calories u eat) and as a result i do get labelled as "you don't do anything guy", which is mostly true for they didn't build the Petronas Towers by just being in the thinking mode. So as a friend suggested, I began to pen down (in this case type) my thinking residue though it might not help build a faster Lamborghini or settle the issue of poverty around the world. Well! here i got my thoughts typed down and i guess you can use it to fall asleep (oops! no one falls asleep in front of the computer except my sis ;) ) or read honest rendition of my rational mode.......